Day 21: ...the Most Sincere Form of Flattery

Before we begin, we think that today is actually day 23 but we will continue the sequence that we're on.

Last night after we posted our entry, it was time for bed. After we tucked in the boys, we tried something new but had no idea what it would produce. Like the show, "The Waltons," we said in turn, Goodnight Sue, Goodnight Candace, Goodnight Lonya, and Goodnight Sergey. Lonya said Goodnight Mama, Goodnight Mama Sue. Sergey was having a good tantrum about that time but then took a breath. At that exact moment, from the darkness and the sudden quiet came a little three year old voice saying, "Goodnight Sergey" which quieted Sergey right down and the boys fell asleep soon after. Our hearts were full. Lonya clearly understands it after one time. Like you think of your children, we think he is the smartest child ever. And we think that even knowing that he has delays based upon orphanage life. For the first time with the boys, we had a full night's sleep.

Today brought more sweet moments. At one point, Sergey was standing up and bouncing on the toddler bed. His response to the adults' requests to sit was to look cute and giggle. Out of nowhere when he accidentally plopped down, Lonya said, "Good Boy, Sergey." We had no idea he had picked that one up. He seems to listen to absolutely everything we say. Now that's a frightening thought. No potty mouth at this house!

When Sergey was hitting Lonya on the head, Lonya piped up with, "Be nice to Lonya" which is a phrase that he's heard Sue use over and over.

Sergey has picked up assorted words here and there although they're hard to understand with baby babble. He's demonstrated an understanding of Again, Up, and the three primary colors. He can't say words exactly as we know them but the range of inflection is very fun to hear. And multi-syllabic babble is accomplished with a tone and lips moving left, right, left, right.

Both boys love their new shoes. It's very special to a child from an orphanage to have clothing of their own. At the orphanage, there are no personal belongings. All clothing is in a community basket, of sorts, and each wears whatever is clean. Color and style is irrelevant. Sometimes, size is even challenging. Often we'd find Sergey with shoes that were pinching his little feet or t-shirts that wouldn't come off. Also, the boys are wearing their shoes inside as a chance to experience them. Kazakh custom is to remove your shoes at the door.

Singing continues daily with more and more songs being sung with clear Russian words and gusto. Lonya is learning "Down by the Station, Early in the Morning." We heard him blend the first line of that with a line from "Sweetly Sings the Donkey." We hadn't thought of it before but the tunes are very similar. We're happy that they love music.

Day 20: On and On

Today was a day of living...nothing real exciting but continued efforts at building a family with two toddler boys. Sergey began in a bad mood as a continuation of little sleep. We did get our tickets to Almaty. Every time we turn around it's breakfast or snacktime or lunch or snacktime or dinner. Eating is important to these children from the orphanage, as we had previously heard, and the boys are no exception.

Speaking of eating...I have to share another observation from the grocery store. It's the only place that we get to go, one at a time since the children must stay in the apartment. So, guess what occupies the most space in a Kazakhstan grocery? Alcohol takes one aisle, chocolate and sweets take another, and finally coffee takes a third. Since there are only about six aisles, we're left with a pitiful choice from meats, bakery items, canned goods, produce, milk products, etc. Essentials are non-essential here.

The boys showed an amazing 36 minute attention span watching Doctor Doolittle 2. They loved the talking animals but soon tired of the English.

It's cold here, almost unbearably. We worry about the kittens outside in the frigid weather. This morning they were given our lovely chicken pate' and wept in sadness to watch it go...NOT!

Signing off from the Steppes

Day 19: Assorted Progress

We were asked about the upcoming schedule (as we know it to date) so here it is: December 1 is court at Karaganda, Kazakhstan, so we'll both be returning to the United States by the end of the next weekend. Fifteen days must pass, starting December 2, as an appeal period. Then 10 workdays will be required by Kazakhstan officials to process paperwork. When we went to the notary to get documents processed for court, we saw very little computerized work and a lot of manual writing and stamping of formal pages. As our friend Rick explained, Russian and Russian-influenced officials love stamps and seals. After the 10 days are up, we must return to Almaty, Kaz, to pick up the boys and begin US Embassy passport requirements and medical requirements. Then, and only then, may we four go Home. If you count it like we did, it sounds like we'll all be home in early January.

On the homefront here, the boys are doing great. The "Gdjeh Game" which we described earlier remains just about the favorite pasttime for both boys. It's hysterical to see the 18 month old put the head of a stuffed animal in a drawer, with the rest of the body sticking out, and then turn with arms outstretched and imitate the Where Is It? It's been a great review for child development!

Lonya's never ending tea parties keep him and all stuffed animals and puppets occupied for an hour at a time. Now that's a blessing. Everybody gets tea out of water bottle lids. A tea set will be forthcoming. Also, both boys respond with their cupped hand to the ear saying "Allo" whenever the phone rings or buzzes. They keep us busy!

Lonya built a 9-tier plastic block tower today by himself. Little brother never misses the opportunity to kick it down. These blocks are a miracle as they've been used as objects of frustration and coercion when they bounce off little brother's head. Sergey just laughs. Actually, we really do try to stop their more aggressive acts but we also recognize that they've got to work out a few differences. The blocks will likely return to the US with us as they're made of the most soft, malleable plastic one could imagine.

It was a breakthrough with Lonya today. He's sometimes struggled with physical affection but he allowed both of us to give him a piggyback ride. Initially, he was a bit unnerved by the height but then the dreaded word Again came out. It's the beginning of the end. He now loves hugs and kisses and responds positively to "Ya tebya lublu" (I love you).

We had a sweet time after dinner tonight. Outside the window in the light of the apartments across the road, we could see older men in fur hats bent against the snow flurries, and older women in shawls scurrying to their homes. We popped in the 70s CD and each of us danced with one of the best dancers in the room. Of course, the boys led, as strains of Sister Golden Hair or Love Will Keep Us Together kept the swaying on course. They love to dance and both have a unique individual style though they like it best when held close. Ahh...

Day 18: Thanksgiving Across the World

This was the most unusual Thanksgiving that either of us has ever had...in a country that is completely removed from the concept, staying in a small apartment with two toddlers, and then trying to celebrate it at Alladin's which is a local Karagandan fastfood restaurant with a small indoor playground. For dinner, we had a pizza with toppings that we can only guess, lots of Coke, and an icecream sundae for dessert. Not exactly your typical holiday cuisine.

The boys enjoyed the play equipment as you can see from the pictures. We were all in a good mood since Sergey had finally slept nearly through the night. Lonya quickly made a little Kazakh boy friend with whom he ran and played and played and...When it was time to settle down, Lonya pulled up a chair at the boy's table and quickly plunged into the french fries that were not his. But the other boy's mother was very gracious and understood what was happening. It was overall a huge relief to have some fresh air with the boys. We've been locked in here with them now for eight days and that's hard for all of us.

The boys ride well in a car. Initially they're both fascinated with all new surroundings. With a little travel, Sergey falls asleep. Kazakhstan does not use car seats nor seatbelts. It's expected to be somewhat difficult to get them to transition into US safety standards for children.

The court date here in Karaganda is now set for December 1. We'd hoped for much earlier but we have no say. During dinner, our translator rehearsed potential questions and answers for the judge and Karagandan prosecutor. Candace thinks that she's ready but this puts her in an entirely different role.

Day 17: Yurt, American-Style

Today was a break from the fevers with Sergey. You know, he's quite a character when he's up to par. Mischief pours from him! His eyes sparkle and we want to run screaming. Both boys show us glimpses of humor and "brotherly love." Now that the windows are allowed to be opened and the children don't have to be overdressed, we all feel better.

From childhood, we remember the joy of hiding places under makeshift tents. Now transform that to Kazakhstan and you've got a yurt, one of the national symbols. A yurt is actually a very practical solution to nomadic life on the steppe. For peoples of the past, a portable dome-shaped home made of leathers and felt could be erected or transported without much trouble. Today's yurt was made of two fine over-stuffed chairs and a Kazakh throw. Once the boys understood that it was safe and fun, they kept circling in and out with each other and with Candace. Sue was the partypooper and photographed it for your pleasure and ours!

We're finding that our time together allows us all to begin routines and find comfort with each other. The boys don't seem to tire of the same old few books. We wish that we'd brought more, especially one with animals, but they are getting quite proficient with names of domestic and wild animals and their related sounds. Lonya often is caught singing songs in Russian that we heard from his music class. It's very sweet but we try not to let him know that we hear it. You know what happens with adult focus---the creativity can suddenly disappear or it gets exaggerated for attention. We've tried to teach them some American songs but the only one that seems to have taken is "Ooo, Eee, ooo, ahh, ahh, bing, bang, walla walla bing bang", etc. We have to ask ourselves, why do we waste our brain cells on nonsense songs when we could devote them to a good Joan Baez or other thoughtful folk songwriter? The answer is, of course, that our public school system cranked them out in mass. We'll teach you some if you're interested. The strangest of all, which we often comment upon, is that schools in rural Oregon and schools in suburban Chicago all taught the same inane songs. Hmmmm...

In the evening, while the boys were napping, we watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It's funny even during the second time. The boys joined us for the last 10 minutes and they seemed entranced at it all on a 15 inch laptop screen. What does the future bring?

Day 16: Living in a Sauna

Kazakhstan is a world of mixed messages. They dress the babies at the orphanage with at least 3 or 4 layers, and we have read story upon story of Americans with adopted babies being chastised on the streets because the children are not dressed warmly enough. The winters are cold indeed, though it is probably not much different in Karaganda right now than it is in Ellensburg. Once the heat is turned on in the buildings in town, it is not possible to actually regulate the heat, except through opening windows. Today was abominably hot inside the apartment, and Sue and I felt like renegades for opening a few windows. We have the boys dressed in one layer--sweat pants and a long sleeved t-shirt, and that seemed awfully hot to us. But we were afraid to change it because the translator was supposed to drop by.

Sergey is not sleeping well at all. We asked the translator to ask the doctors about this, and the word came back to us this evening. The doctors say he sleeps quite soundly at the orphanage. They think it is just the newness of everything. Today was particularly bad, since he just would not have a nap at all. Lonya only slept an hour (they are supposed to sleep two). So it was harder than usual. Sue still has a sore throat and doesn't feel all that well herself, so it was a physically difficult day.

On the other hand, most of the day there were no tantrums and everyone played very well with each other. Lonya spontaneously had Sergey sit down next to him and explained all the pictures in the little photo album that we had made for the boys ahead of time. His English has improved dramatically, though whenever someone else comes over, he won't speak at all. So don't expect him to talk when you meet him!!!

Tonight's dinner was a meatloaf, American style, using Russian ingredients. The boys seemed to like it so that was a plus. We were surprised by Lonya's taking the initiative to reach out for hands before grace at dinner. He just seems to catch on so quickly, but we know that he has a long way to go due to his three years of sheltered living.

Sergey has been running a fever and has digestive problems. When it got worse this evening, we sought help and his temperature is receding. He's a pretty miserable little boy right now. And we even got scolded for him wearing too many clothes...we can't seem to win.

We've also been told that the children should not drink cold milk or juice directly from the refrigerator since it will give them a sore throat. That's news to us, but it may explain why the milk is not refrigerated in the stores and has a one year expiration date on it. Ugh!

Let's hope for a peaceful night.

Paul: Thank you for the expedient service with the FBI prints!

Day 15: Three Worlds

Today is our fourth day at the apartment with the boys and we're still standing. No way are we going to let two humans who've only been on this Earth for 4 and one-half years take us down without a good fight! The miracle of their bonding captures our attention constantly...spontaneous shared games, kisses, Russian discussions about Lonya owning all toys, smiles, etc. It warms even the most frigid heart.

Candace notices that Kazakhstan is such a mix of Three Worlds. The Kazakhstan village mentality is alive and well with frugality and hospitality. Last night we had the opportunity to experience a traditional Kazakh tea with our landlord and her children. We had Lipton tea with Kazakh traditional fry bread, fancy European chocolates, and other sweets from the store. At one point, we had to actually stop the intake or the boys may have exploded and we didn't want to have to clean that up!

Next we have the post-Communist world. Candace got to go out yesterday with Galina, our beloved translator. During the errands (while Sue suffered with two toddlers) Candace entertained Galina by demonstrating the expression that we two Americans have tried to assume in order to fit in on the streets. Can you say "DOUR?" Galina thought it was funny but agreed that only young people in Kazakhstan are friendly on the streets, and even that is limited. She agreed that that could be a remnant of Communist oppression.

Lastly, we have the modern Kazakhstan with American rap blaring from the neighbor's radio, casinos everywhere, and a strange sprinkling of trendy American names for restaurants and clubs.

We want to share our grocery shopping experiences again. We tried to buy canned meat (it even had the chicken on the outside) but instead we found it to be a slightly gross form of pate', At times we see labels from the US, including Nestle, Pampers, Johnson's baby shampoo, etc. but usually it's anyone's guess! We've had an interesting time trying to create meals that are edible. Tonight we're going to give it a hero's try for a chicken, vegie, cheese, egg fritatta. Our friends are saying that they're really quite good. Who knows.

Oh, speaking of eggs...they come in packs of 10 which are in thin, clear bags. It is hard to make it home with a handful of groceries, trudging through snow, and still arrive with 10. Sue had only 2 survivors one day and it was not pretty! Let us tell you that if one is broken, it's headed to the garbage. There is no resuscitation for the broken since the shells come with feathers attached and other chicken leftovers that we'll not mention here.

The grocery store makes us feel like spies, indeed. At the end of each aisle is a young man with a walkie-talkie, speaking earnestly, as they watch us move through the store. At first it was unnerving but now we're used to it. No more friendly smiles and attempted Russian niceties. Instead, we walk past like we're one of Them. Today Sue was treated by the cashier to a lengthy Russian greeting and could only say in return "Ya nye penemaiou." It's hard to be so undereducated! Speaking of language mastery, our landlords's daughter, age 10, speaks fluently in Russian and Kazakh and gets by nicely with English. She has also studied French and German. Her future is bright. What are we missing in the States?

An interesting fact---the unit of currency is the tenge worth about 3/4 of a penny. All tenge are actually multiples of one. They have nothing smaller that represents a part of a tenge. They don't have anything like our quarters, dimes, nickels, etc. You get the picture. And it actually seems much more managable than our system at home.

Days 13 and 14: Reality

After little to no sleep for the past three days, we thought that we'd share a few observations on the boys. Sergey still eats anything and everything that is edible and nonedible and we can count on it to come out the other end. He pitches a fit when things don't go his way but he's perfectly happy with an empty water bottle as a toy. The caregivers told us that he has a temper...no kidding! This boy has some lungs. But he does get out of it pretty quickly except at night when he just won't go down to bed. He loves his big brother and wants to mimic his stunts.

Lonya is generally a very good boy (again, so the caretakers said, but did they talk of the same child?); however, he does have a very stubborn streak, especially around decided food choices. Sue and Lonya had a long sit at the table this morning to eat oatmeal. For two days he's nodded off pretty well but last night was different. He worked himself into a crying trance (out of body experience) for at least 30 minutes when he didn't want to go to bed. He only settled when he was taken to the kitchen for a sip of water. Lonya has begun to count to 5 in English, alternates between the Russian and English yes/no, he's learning body parts (thanks to bathtime), and he rambles on and on in Russian.

This apartment keeps us feeling quite isolated. The phone is shared with the landlord's family (two teens) so access can be tricky. There is no TV to keep up on the news. The only thing that saves us is the Internet connection via Nursat.

Day 12: Surprises Never End

Today caught us off guard. We had only just arrived at the Nezabudka Orphanage when our interpreter came to us saying that the coordinator said we should go home now. Candace was convinced that we had yet, again, done something inappropriate. You see, all adoptive families get scolded whenever the children are too loud, put toys in the paths of oncoming caregivers, play with the expensive medical equipment that they won't remove from the visiting room, or when they find boots to carry from the boot cabinet. So, we just thought that we'd gone too far and overlooked something. But, to our surprise, the message was that we were bundling up two little boys to bring to the apartment for the rest of our stay! Oh my gosh! Let me repeat, oh my gosh!

Once home, we then scrambled to babyproof the apartment. A three year old has a good reach and the little one is like a Hoover vacuum. We were to quickly "dismantle" all borrowed clothing (three layers here in winter) and return them to the orphanage staff so that count is correct. For the balance of the afternoon, it was chaos and play and more chaos.

Dinner time and bath time were fine. One little Lonya likes to play in the tub. But it settled them down a bit. Toothbrushing capped it off and then it was time for bed. Lonya is a good sleeper but Sergey screamed solid for two hours. We took turns walking and rocking him. When he was laid down, he'd awake and scream again. Both boys were restless and we basically watched them all through the night. The adults may have gotten two hours of sleep, if lucky.

Now you're saying to yourselves, "I told them that this would change their lives forever! What are they thinking? Toddlers at their age?" Well, we will clear this up now. You all were categorically correct in everything you said. We know that and you know that. So, let's just leave it at that. You win. We're exhausted, but it's a good exhaustion.

Goodnight, friends and family. Oh wait, the kids are up again and ready to play.

Day 11: The Steppes are Alive (la la la) With the Sound of Music

What a day! We measure progress with bonding and general learning in tiny increments. Cumulatively, they are quite impressive to us for two little boys who have lived in an orphanage since 6 days old and 6 months old. Today was a day of song. First, Seri began singing with Sue while rocking on the rocking horse. It was a nonsense tune that Sue had made up but he seemed to connect with it. Before we knew it, Older Brother joined in and was perfectly on key! That lasted for at least five to 10 minutes. Seri's favorite doctor, Lubov, came through and couldn't believe that Seri was singing. She gave us a thumbs up so that could only mean good things for his development. Seri is vocalizing more and more. He also used the baby puppets (bunny and duck) to dance and sing with them on the table. He is showing a creative, playful side also. He continues to go back to his classroom daily with front teeth any color of the rainbow. He's darn quick with those fat crayons. We keep picking up 1/2 inch points and with the slight of hand, they disappear into pockets. Each night we empty out the paper scraps, crayon tips, and assorted detritus of the day.

Lonya is a delight. Today brought trauma. When playing with Sue at the boot closet, he jumped up and came down with his front teeth biting into the particle board (leaving tooth marks). At the same time, he bit his lip and opened it up inside. Instantly, he went to Mama Candace for comfort. It was touching to see him relax and "heal" with the closeness and rocking in her arms. After big tears, he was ready to face that mean cabinet again. He also mimicked the words "nose", "dog" (useful in a 2 sabaca household) and others. He's decided that Sue is safe now but keeps a close eye on her because she reaches out and tickles him. But she did get a "paka paka", "bye bye", kiss on the cheek, and even a blown kiss from him today. I guess that she's in the club now. Candace has gotten those all along.

Lunch was at Anita's and Joyce's apartment which is much nicer than our own. It is centrally located to town, has a few extra rooms and more square footage, and isn't nearly as dreary. We wanted to move instantly but it's probably not in the cards.

The sneg (snow) is at least 6 inches today. It makes trudging along a bit more difficult.

Love to our family and friends back Home...

Day 10: Best of Times, Worst of Times

Today the snows came to Karaganda. And at the orphanage, we were visited by Grumpy and Happy. Sergey thought that all things that we did were the most fascinating moments of his short life. But Lonya...he just didn't want to be with us which made Candace quite discouraged. Sue keeps trying to convince Candace that it's a good thing that he wants to be with his young friends. He is a man of music and knew that his class was preparing for another music lesson. So Sue went with his class to be entertained while Candace had some 1:1 with Buddha Boy. Music class was more of the same from last week. Lonya was a little more at ease so was actually showing that he knew some of the words and dance moves. Imagine...age 3! Like most of the others, his little body swayed in attempted time and his feet tapped out the rhythm. He is swept away to another place when he sings.

Lunch was again with our regular companions, Anita and mother Joyce. We tried to stay in as much as possible because the Karaganda winds put Ellensburg's and Chicago's winds to shame. It was ice crystals blowing horizontally in well below freezing weather. It hurt to be out in it. We even pulled out hats today. So much for the hardy Americans. We stalled for three hours in the Tsum department store and nearby coffee shop.

Back with the boys, Lonya was suddenly all sweetness and light. He was engaged with one of us for the entire time. Today's moments of brilliance for Lonya included: Demonstrating a sense of humor by tiptoeing back and forth with his finger to his lips after we'd been hushed by the caregivers next door; mimicking words like uh oh and up; and speaking to us in Russian quite fluently. He also pinned Sergey to the wall to feed him his goldfish cracker. Sergey is a moving target. He's like a baby bird on roller blades with his mouth wide open but bobbing side to side. The crackers usually fall to the floor several times before they hit the target so Lonya took it upon himself to hold that target still with one hand to the face while using the other to plunge the cracker in to the gaping hole. Lonya was a snuggler this afternoon and laughed and wanted to be held. He is obviously bonding with his little brother. When Sergey is upside down Lonya will give him a little kiss. Lonya is starting to like being tossed around, especially while we hum the William Tell Overture.

Day 9: At the apartment

With today being Sunday, we were on our own to rest and catch up with chores. Sadly, however, what was going to be a laundry day was nixed by the landlord's daughter who spent the whole day doing her laundry. Our apartment, when not rented out (and even when rented) is their laundry facility. So our doorbell keeps chirping like a very loud macau every two hours. The washer actually takes that long to do a load, and its capacity is very small.

We both spent time sleeping and reading and talking about the adoption experience here in Karaganda. The apartment is in a rundown working class section. The apartments are everywhere, rising up to 8 or 10 stories. None seems to be in harmony with the environment, which is a long expanse of steppe. They look kind of like The Projects in Chicago. There is a gloom here that is hard to describe. Certainly, the weather has been overcast and dull, in the 30s and 40s daily. But the general sense for the society is that they spend most of their time in drudgery, trying to just survive. The people on the street, as we've mentioned before, are withdrawn, suspicious-seeming, and repressed feeling, though any one individual met off of the streets is quite personable and friendly. In the mornings as we await our ride, there are usually one or two senior citizens picking through the dumpsters for plastic bags (precious commodity for transporting), cardboard or kindling for fires, or anything else that catches their attention. People beg on the streets, mostly seniors and single women with children. We wonder if there is no social support program for these people, so that they survive by their own creativity; however, we know that in America people beg too, and there are supports in place.

Shopping at a grocery store is a challenge since all labels are in Russian. We are trying to stick with processed foods like canned fruits, vegetables, meats, etc. Thank goodness for labels with pictures! Also, fresh fruits are limited to those that are peeled. We tried milk (moloko) but it was sweet and quickly curdled. They have kefir here, a thick version of milk, that is more like unsweetened yogurt. We can't get up the courage to try it yet but the boys have it at the orphanage. We're leery of the fresh meat section, trying to avoid horse meat. We question the butcher with our dictionary to make sure it is "cow" and not "horse." Everywhere around the supermarket is blaring American and Russian disco music. So much for getting away from our culture.

There are some fancy cars here by our standards...BMWs, Mercedes, etc. Generally, the cars seem to be small and of the 80s era. Many of them are protected by alarm systems. We read that the number one cause of foreigner deaths is being hit. You're on your own across the busy streets and they drive like drivers in any big city but without lanes or traffic signals.

Our timeline for adoption is still up in the air. Upon completing our mandatory 14 day visitations, the paperwork is submitted to the Court and the judge will set a court date. Hopefully, it will be soon. After court comes the 15 day waiting period that still allows family members to intercede and stop the adoption. After the 15 days, comes paperwork processing for another week or so. Finally, in Almaty, the boys are readied for US entry. It is a long, long period of time.

Thank you all for your continued following of our progress and the support that we feel from "Home."

Day 8: First ride in a machina!

We tried something new today. All possible temptations for trouble were removed and toys were limited. We noticed that this seemed to settle Lonya by not having the additional chaos. The boys interacted well. Lonya is continuing his practice with red, yellow, and blue although he doesn't correctly match them with the colors yet. He learned that the word again (or againa, in his vocabulary) actually means a redo versus the word up. He is more comfortable with closeness and gives Sue kisses on the cheek when asked.

An aside...on the way to the orphanage, we stopped for gasoline. It cost about 62 tenge per litre. More interesting was the fact that there was an armed guard with an automatic rifle standing outside the building, watching the comings and goings. No gas theft here!

Sergey is vocalizing more, with the only discernible words being Mama and "arf, arf." He enjoys playing "arf, arf" with his caregivers and his favorite doctor, Lubov. She is a jolly woman that brings out the best in the children. He flirts with her constantly, giving her his best goo-goo eyes.

At lunchtime we had gorgonzola cheese pizza and sodas. We watched the Russian version of the Galloping Gourmet, with two Russian men singing very loudly on the TV while creating their masterpiece. We continue to get by with hand gesturing and lame Russian words.

Lonya now has a complete clothing ensemble. It's a task to get our needs across, but the outlines of hands and feet really helped. Galina told us not to buy everything at the Mickey House but we didn't listen. His clothing seems to fit fine.

In the afternoon, five adults and three children under the age of three and a half, rode to the photographer's to get the passport photos taken. Although it was Sergey's first ride in a machina, he whimpered just a little and then settled down to watch the action. Lonya was fascinated and Anita's son, Sergey Two, was somewhat less comfortable. At the photo shoot, the two boys were outstanding without squirms or tears. On the way home, Sergey Two suddenly burst into terror screams when loaded into the car. Lonya and Sergey were still fine.

The Nezabudka Orphanage has so many wonderful children that need homes. Sue "fell" for Little White Shoes, a small, quiet girl in Lonya's class who desperately needs a home. She's beautiful, gentle, and musical, too! What more could one want in a little girl?

Tomorrow (Sunday) we'll have one day off without boys. That seems odd. There appear to be about six US families here at Nezabudka Orphanage all adopting at the same time. It's busy for our coordinator, translator, and driver!

Day 7: The challenge continues

After another night of hot temperatures, we headed to the orphanage to see the boys. Sergey is still being a sweetie pie. He smiles and runs to me when I go to the door of his classroom. He wants to put everything in his mouth, and unfortunately did manage to bite off a piece of crayon that made his teeth orange before I figured out what he was doing. Good thing these are not toxic. After that he got so used to being told not to put things in his mouth that he started bringing both Sue and me every little scrap of paper that fell to the floor. Of course now putting things in his mouth is a game that gets attention, but we do want to save his teeth and internal system. Sergey, for the first time, said Mama when looking at my picture.

Lonya continued his big brother routine, alternating between sweetly offering treats to Sergey and stealing Sergey's toys and piling them in a corner Sergey cannot reach. Lonya now has a small repertoire of English words, including Mama, red, yellow, blue (if prompted with goldfish crackers), up, again, and monkey (the last in honor of the stuffed monkey I brought). He also said Sergey's name for the first time, however we don't know what he mumbled under his breath after he said the name. He is really acting out to try to get more attention. For example, climbing on the boot cupboard gets immediate results, so he is doing it over and over. He had two time outs of about 20 seconds in a corner with Candace. He wimpered the whole time, but modified his behavior for the next 2 minutes at least. He is showing a playful side. He has good pretend skills. He likes to sit at a table and pretend to eat and drink. He also has his monkey kissing him, us, Sergey, and pictures in the book. He hides toys in the cupboard, closes the door, turns to us and holds his hands open wide, saying, "Gdyeh?" This means where is it? We say, "I don't know. Where is ______" Then Lonya will triumphantly produce whatever it was and laugh and laugh.

Both boys love books. It doesn't matter whether or not they have pictures or whether they are upside down. They like to hold them and turn the pages. They don't even rip the pages (yet).

At lunch we went with Anita and her mother and our translator to the notary and signed a number of documents. Then to the mall and The Mickey Store (a giant toy store). Sergey now has several days worth of outfits. We need to return to pick up a few things for Lonya.

In the afternoon, it was more of the same. Lonya is especially challenging in the afternoon. By the end of the day, we are both exhausted. And that's only 4 hours with the kids!!! But there is no way to burn energy off them in the 6 x 10 little room, so I think things may be a little intensified. Every day is something new. Tomorrow we take the children for their passport pictures!

Day 6: Paradise Lost

Today the boys switched roles. Quiet, obedient Lonya became three years old with a vengeance. And fiery Sergey was angelic. I guess that dream of the peace and compliance is gone for good; instead, we begin to see a healthy child experiencing his developmental age, testing limits, and stretching beyond institutional behavior. We remind each other that this is joyous! Wait, did we say that?

This morning we awoke tired. They heat their apartments to 80 degrees at least and it's hard to relax. In fact, the Kazakhs seem to completely overdress for the weather from our points of view. It is rare to see a Kazakh person NOT wearing a heavy fur hat even with temperatures in the 40s. And the babies, well, they become marshmallow people in their multiple layering, including huge snowsuits and boots when there's no snow. And while we're speaking of fashion, we want to tell you of an observation or two. The Kazakh people love black! In fact, we stand out just wearing blues or browns. And with no hat, we're marked instantly. Also, the fashionable folks, both men and women, are mimicking the Munchkins of Wizard of Oz. No kidding...they wear black shoes that extend at least two inches beyond their toes, pointing upward. It is the oddest thing to see but it's everywhere. Generally, the Kazakhs are chic and slim and well-groomed overall.

Now, back to the boys...we were allowed to take them outside together. Baby marshmallows, of course. They played in the dirt, teeter-tottered and walked around the grounds. That helped, considering that we're confined to a room approximately 6x10' for four hours per day. There are only so many toys that will hold their attention. Amazingly, our toy supply has increased.

Inside this morning, they were both well-behaved, sharing crayons, Goldfish crackers, etc. It astonished our friends when they came over with their new son. Sergey was vocalizing more, having in depth conversations with Sue about cars, books, etc. Sue was not sure exactly what was said, but it was guaranteed to be deep! Lonya absolutely loves the rocking horse. Candace is seeing a Christmas present in the making.

Lunchtime was spent with friends. We went to the local Karaganda museum to learn about Kaz history and then on to a beautiful park for an hour. Sue learned that President Nazurbeyev used to be a leader in the Kazakh Communist Party (not to be confused with the Russian Communist Party) and is now the leader of a free democratic, secular Kazakhstan. Interesting!

The afternoon brought Lonya in fine form. He didn't want to obey and needed to test all the rules. Naturally, Sergey the Terror, just watched with fascination the entire time. But Lonya was showing new learning. In addition to practicing naming the three primary colors (needs more practice), he learned the word "again." When Sue lifted him to the stars, he began using "again" to keep it going. It came out as againa, againa, againa, and on and on. Sue became exhausted but it was so rewarding and fun to see his progress in his confidence, language acquisition and conceptualization. Candace took over but was soon winded also. We'll see if he remembers tomorrow. In the meantime, we just marvel at how quickly the boys are learning.

No pictures today, unfortunately. Our memory card was taken by our coordinators to make copies of photos for the judge, Ministry of Ed, and someone else. Perhaps we'll give you more beautiful faces tomorrow. Ciao!

Day 5: Brotherhood begins!

This morning we were finally able to bring the boys together for the whole visit. Lonya, however, isn't sure about all of this, especially the part about sharing Mom. He's told us that he's jealous when Mom holds "little brother." Suddenly his crayon marks get heavy and vigorous or he quickly stands by Mom's side, reaching up to hold her hand. Nope, he's not letting her go to some interloper! Sergey is fascinated by the brilliance of his brother and is able to spend many minutes watching intently. Both boys really liked the new game, Stack Three Blocks then Knock Them Down. Lonya can stack many more blocks carefully but Sergey reaches out to knock them out anyway, so what's the use?

We had lunch with our new friends from TN and IN, Anita and Joyce. Anita is adopting a 2 1/2 year old boy, also named Sergey, while Grandma Joyce provides moral support. They're a delightful English-speaking break. Though Sue did manage a perfectly good note in Russian to our driver who actually understood. He then transferred our note to the interpreter who quickly corrected the accent mark and told us that she's never had American clients like us. We weren't sure whether that was a compliment, but she does keep accusing Candace of being a spy! It's a long story. . .

In the afternoon visit, we see how much the boys are coming around. Both will now smile spontaneously which wasn't the case even two days ago. Sergey can be quickly talked out of his temper tantrums with a calm voice or teasing. He loves to be to be bounced and tossed around. The more air the better! And Lonya had a shoulder ride around the room with Candace. To us, that's a huge leap since he's quite timid and doesn't yet like to be picked up.

Tonight we were off to the grocery store again. This time nobody stared at us and several people went on and on and on in Russian before they understood that we were saying, "ya, nye penemaiu" (I don't understand). Could it be that we could pass for Russian/Kazakh now? Naaaah...

We hope that you enjoy today's pics of two smiling, energetic boys. Oh, did we forget to say energetic?!

Day 4 with the boys...

We are settling into a routine with the orphanage visits...twice daily for two hours each. At the orphanage at 10:00 am, we first saw Sergey for a brief time. He was having his morning snack of fruit, crackers, and fruit compote when we snatched him away for a diaper and fun. Soon after, we had to give him back so that we could join in Lonya's music class for 3 and 4 year olds. Oh my gosh, that was the cutest little performance that we've seen in a long time. Singing to the piano accompanied dances and theatrical performances. Can you imagine little people of that age tapping their feet, singing along well, and actually doing synchronized hand/feet moves? Wow! Unfortunately after it was over, we left Lonya to meet with the two attending doctors for the boys and Lonya burst into tears.

Both doctors gave the boys a clean rating. We had many questions answered and again appreciate a great deal how much the entire staff, including these two doctors, seem to really love the children. Both boys were born in Karaganda so that's another thing that they have in common.

For lunch we walked down town to a nice restaurant. The Kazakh food is very good and we were not left hungry nor wanting more. We walked around a bit after lunch. The weather is cold but not too bad, and so far, no snow.

The afternoon/evening visit was spent outside with Lonya playing on the equipment and kicking a ball. He has much growing to do and is quite tender-hearted so spills sometimes lead to tears. But he'll get there soon. Candace needs to learn to keep up with a 3 year old. He's definitely on wheels.

We brought the two boys together for the rest of our visit. They're pretty much strangers at this point, having seen each other only one time before. Neither wanted to share time with Mama which led to a book bonking to the head from Sergey to Lonya. But that was quickly corrected and then all was fine. Lonya did give Sergey a kiss to the forehead even under duress.

Sergey definitely is getting rid of the bronchitis and his fevers are lessening. The REAL boy is emerging. He's had two temper tantrums so far but Sue would only give him a 6 on a scale of 10 on the performance. She's convinced that with practice, he'll soon improve that rating to have more volume and duration. He's full of spunk!

Lonya is starting to be more audible, imitating words that he hears. He also recognizes his Uncle Jeff , Uncle Jerry, Aunt Pam, and Babuschka Ruth. He is a little behind but we'll be working on that.

Please keep checking the site. We love to hear from you all. We've tried to email but it hasn't gone through. We'll try again tomorrow morn.

Fill in Entry

I am writing this from my apartment. Sue and I spent quite a bit of time this morning working our way through the internet connection instructions all in Russian, with the aid of a Russian dictionary and a very minor knowledge of computer requirements. And somehow we had managed to get an account, but we didn't know it because we headed to the orphanage before we could see the fruits of our efforts.

I thought I might catch up on some of the stuff that we have been up to. Tuesday evening I left home with Fletcher standing at the window watching me go. It was heartbreaking, knowing I won't see him for a month. But I understand that Fletcher and Gil have been hanging out up on the furniture with Susan, the surrogate doggie (and kitty) Mom extraordinaire, watching movies in the evening, so I don't feel so bad anymore. The flights all ran together in my head. First to DC, then to Frankfurt, Germany, and then to Almaty, Kazakhstan, with layovers of 4 to 6 hours in the various airports in between. By the time we touched down in Kaz just before midnight Thursday, we were just exhausted. Oleg and Nicolai picked us up and took us to the Hotel Kazzhol, which was like Paradise after trying to sleep on the airplane. We slept in till 9, but got up in time for the included breakfast.

We headed into town on our own and somehow managed to change money and find the big shopping areas (I always can find those!). We perused the sidewalk art and listened to an old woman playing the dombra and singing. We wound our way through the Green Market, getting sidetracked at some of the fruit and nut stands, then dropping off the dried fruit we bought to an elderly woman panhandling on the pedestrian mall (she was still happily chewing on them as we left the little cafe for lunch). There was really not much English spoken there, but a valiant attempt with the dictionary is always rewarded with patience and eventual understanding.

We headed back to the hotel and got ready to go again. Oleg's father was a half hour early to pick us up for the airport, so it was a good thing we had gone down to the lobby an hour early to wait. The two hour flight to Karaganda on an old WWII era cargo plane, with little round windows and tattered interior was classic! And, naturally, I did have to pay a little overweight baggage charge (who could see that one coming?!). Instead of beverage service or in-flight meals, the stewardess came down the aisle with a little bowl of hardtack candy. I wanted to read, but there really wasn't lighting, and though it wasn't well heated, the noise of the propellers lulled me to sleep.

Galina, my translator picked us up at the airport in Karaganda about 9 p.m. after we had managed to negotiate the bureaucracy of customs. She drove us to our apartment/home sweet home/ for the next month. It is the spare rooms of a woman who lives upstairs, and it is a sitting area with sofa and sofa bed, a kitchen, and a bathroom. It does have a washing machine, but no tv and a shared telephone.

On Saturday I was expecting the regional adoption coordinator to come to visit. Instead, she pulled up in the car and announced that we had to hurry. She had negotiated a Saturday meeting with the children. She had apparently studied my dossier and already had two specific boys in mind. It was all so fast it made our heads spin. Next thing I know, I was sitting in the very pleasant office of the Nezabudka orphanage (it means Forget-me-Not flower in Kazakh). We passed some time with nervous small talk and then all at once two little waifs were brought in by caregivers.

Lonya came over to me immediately and stood in front of me with his back to me. He kept looking down because he was so frightened. But eventually, as the doctor told me his history, I turned him around. The doctors kept remarking how much he looks like me. It is his coloring. Sergei, or Seriozha, as he is nicknamed (this will change!) is 18 months and sat, first on Sue's lap, and then on mine like a little prince, looking all around very attentively. The doctor gave me information on him. Then I was asked if I wanted to adopt them.

I asked more questions and tried to interact with them a little, though the room was by now full of other people watching me. My coordinator said I should take some minutes to think about it. I asked more questions about them. The boys went back to their respective groups and Sue and I were driven away. We told the coordinator Yes! and she told us she would be back for our first visit at 4 p.m.. They said to bring a diaper.

Sue and I walked down to the supermarket and found diapers and tried to collect our thoughts. Then back at 4 p.m., where we got to spend some time with each boy. Unfortunately, Sergei had a fever and wasn't feeling well. I worried about him when I handed him back to the caregivers. Lonya was fun and sweet and very obedient, though I bet that will change at some point. After the visit, we came back to the apartment and Alma, the landlord, had fixed some Manti (beef dumplings) and left them on the kitchen table, still steaming hot. It was a God send.

On Sunday we only got one visit and I wasn't allowed to see the boys together because of Sergei's cold. Sergei was somewhat better and the caregivers brought out a little table and food for him. They expected me to feed him. He drinks very well from a two handled cup. I only got about a fourth of the food down his front. He can probably do better by himself, but the feeding was a bonding thing. He does have very decided preferences--throwing the noodles from the soup down because he wanted the vegetables and bulgar instead. He didn't want me to leave at the end.

Lonya was a little less forthcoming Sunday. But the caregivers did allow me to go in and see the main playroom, the bedroom, and the potty room. The 15 children all eat together at four little square tables, sleep together in the same room in little toddler beds set end to end in three long rows, and potty together on little potties lined up in two rows.

After the visit, we went back to the apartment and crashed for the rest of the day.

Which brings me to today. After the second visitation at 4 p.m. both boys did not want to go back to the groups. Sergei wailed as I left him back with the caregivers. Lonya has finally started to smile and giggle a little. He is smart as a whip. I'll be able to keep everyone updated better now. No more posts that are book-length!

Greetings from the internet cafe

Soon, soon, the Nursat card will give me access to the blog from my apartment. The only phone is a party line and it is nearly impossible to get it to all work out. I also can't seem to get a phone call out. And, alas, the apartment complex is not near the center of town. So today I'm between my twice daily orphanage visits, writing from an internet cafe in Karaganda. The photo on the left is of Sergei--the little man of the house. Kind of looks like a little Buddha. He is loving and serious. Today he drooled on my shirt, as you see, and I got to change my first diaper! He has had a bad cold and is recovering from a fever, so he is quiet and mostly wants to snuggle and sleep during the visit. Also, because he is sick, I have to divide the visitation into one hour with him and then one hour with his big brother, Lonya (rhymes with Sonia). Later I'll be able to have them together. The other photo is the big boy. Lonya is a sweet and serious, obedient boy. He is very smart but so far hasn't really said much. He also has a passion for being organized and putting things in their proper places (okay, at least someone in the house is like this!) He likes the toys I brought but LOVES the books. Sue is having serious CNN withdrawals and is so excited to get access to MSNBC.com that she will make me quit this soon.

We're here!

Well, we're here! I have lots to write about, but unfortunately cannot get the computer up and running (due to various problems). So I'm borrowing the computer from the young man upstairs.

We traveled for days and came to Karaganda late last night. My translator is wonderful, and the coordinator very impressive. I was able to go to the orphanage today and meet my sons--as long as the Kaz court is willing! They are two wonderful boys, 18 months and 3 years old, and I spent two visits with them today.

I'm living in an apartment and (so far) getting by quite passably with simple Russian words and a lot of gestures. I'll be back in touch, hopefully with pictures, just as soon as I can get the internet problem straightened out.