Home and Waiting
What a rollercoaster! Thursday (court) was a high point of my life. But Friday was a low. The boys were alternately clinging and loving (for Sergey) and (for Lonya) both clinging at times and distant at times. The morning visit went pretty well. My friends Anita and her mother Joyce had court at 9:30, and John and Annette had court at 11. So no Americans were anywhere in sight in the morning, and I had the boys all to myself. A little bribery with a banana kept everyone in good spirits. We played with a flashlight, which fascinated both boys. But the afternoon visit was much harder. As people have mentioned, I know well that this has been hard for the boys. Lonya and Sergey really blossomed at the apartment. It was truly wonderful, and it forged a bond that is very strong. For that reason, being able to live with them was a good idea. And yet I had to take them back to the orphanage and that has really confused both of them. I can really see it with Lonya. I would give anything to have stayed with him or brought him home with me, but that's not the way their system works. In the end, when I said goodbye, the translator was not around to explain everything to Lonya, so I tried to get his caregivers to do it. He did give me a sweet hug and kiss, but I don't think he understands. He was happy to be back with his friends. After I said goodbye to him (and then turned away in tears), I had to take Sergey back to his room. I know he does not understand at all. The thought of leaving him and hearing him call for me was making me procrastinate giving him back. I was cleaning up all the toys that I had bought to entertain them, most of which I am giving to the orphanage, and Sergey toddled into his orphanage playroom and waved Paka (Bye bye). He shut the door. He was just playing a game, and did not realize the caregivers would swoop down on him on the other side of the door and he wouldn't see me again. I heard them come and grab him and they took him away. He was crying and crying--while I have this Humphrey Bogart-esque image of him standing with the door in one hand, calmly saying Paka to me and waving his other. Makes me cry every time I think of it.
The Americans went out to dinner together and we did invite the coordinator and translator, though we were sad at leaving the children. We gave out all the gifts. Then up early in the morning for the WWII-era propeller plane flight to Almaty. At least this time it was daylight, and the plane flies pretty low (it isn't pressurized, I don't think). So I could see the boundless steppes stretching out on all sides. Snow-covered and beautiful. Not all that different from Ellensburg area, actually, though when we got close to the mountains at Almaty, the mountains are like many Mt. Rainiers all crowded together. They are absolutely huge. Actually much bigger than Mt. Rainier.
Almaty had no snow and was probably in the 50's and sunny. It was a beautiful day to go walking in the pedestrian mall, listen to the accordion players (mostly Russian) and the dombra players (mostly Kazakh) as they sit with their hats out and entertain passersby. A little souvenir shopping and then a nap before I was picked up at 1 a.m.
Then for several solid days of travel. 3 7-hour flights with 6 or 7 hour layovers. And home at last. All we can think about is the boys. We love them dearly, and I believe they have begun to love us. They don't understand what is going on. I don't know how I'll be able to stand the next few weeks.
Except now we know what they are capable of getting into, it will take the next 3 weeks to make the house safe!!!!!
The Americans went out to dinner together and we did invite the coordinator and translator, though we were sad at leaving the children. We gave out all the gifts. Then up early in the morning for the WWII-era propeller plane flight to Almaty. At least this time it was daylight, and the plane flies pretty low (it isn't pressurized, I don't think). So I could see the boundless steppes stretching out on all sides. Snow-covered and beautiful. Not all that different from Ellensburg area, actually, though when we got close to the mountains at Almaty, the mountains are like many Mt. Rainiers all crowded together. They are absolutely huge. Actually much bigger than Mt. Rainier.
Almaty had no snow and was probably in the 50's and sunny. It was a beautiful day to go walking in the pedestrian mall, listen to the accordion players (mostly Russian) and the dombra players (mostly Kazakh) as they sit with their hats out and entertain passersby. A little souvenir shopping and then a nap before I was picked up at 1 a.m.
Then for several solid days of travel. 3 7-hour flights with 6 or 7 hour layovers. And home at last. All we can think about is the boys. We love them dearly, and I believe they have begun to love us. They don't understand what is going on. I don't know how I'll be able to stand the next few weeks.
Except now we know what they are capable of getting into, it will take the next 3 weeks to make the house safe!!!!!
2 Comments:
All I can think about is how blessed those boys will be to know your love for the rest of their lives. When others make that comment to me about Annie, I can't see past my own happiness, but now it rings true.
At the risk of meeting my quota of shared parental advice/comment, I'll add that every night Annie protests being put to bed with cries (that only last a minute or two) despite the books read, the prayers said, and the kisses given, I want to crawl right back in there with her and be there until she falls asleep (which ends up defeating the purpose!). It's never easy to let them cry, but right now, it's their primary way of communicating to you when they are troubled--in a way, I suppose it's indicative of the bond that you've forged and that is a good thing!
Glad to see you posting again. We'll call soon.
Finally I get to read another blog message. My server has been having some problems and I think I lost about 20 messages. I haven't been able to read email for 3 days -- I was beginning to go through withdrawal I think :-)
Anyway, I can't imagine going through the "goodbyes" to Sergey and Lonya. I'm so glad that everything went well and you will be bringing them home soon. Think "hello" instead of "goodbye" and that might get you through. Hang in there, these next few weeks will go quickly and the boys will be with you forever.
I have a day off from school performances today -- hooray!! :-) Seven down and six to go. See you, -- Nancy
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